When I talk about the absolute importance of play to the long-term success of a relationship, couples sometimes look at me in disbelief. Are you kidding? Play? Who cares about playing? That's for kids! Who's got time?

But . . . show me a couple who has lost their zest for having fun and I'll show you a couple whose relationship is b-o-r-i-n-g! And a couple whose hidden relationship problems may be keeping them from having fun.

Play is so critical to the success of a romantic relationship it's hard to overstate it. If you want to give your relationship a shot of adrenalin, try using a strategy I often recommend to my clients. Sometimes it's even possible for a couple to rescue their relationship by simply having more fun!

It will help you to have a healthier relationship and keep your relationship young and vital.

Strategy

Find, steal, take or make more time to play and enhance your relationship . . . and watch it become a more loving one.

You can begin by writing in a play-date on your calendar. No matter how long you've been together, a couple can benefit from a little more play time. So why not make a date to go out and have some fun?

But be careful . . . don't fall into this trap - a trap I've seen many times when working with married and unmarried couples.

Whenever couples try to play more, one partner often tends to arrange a play activity that he/she likes but the other one does not!

For example, a spouse who loves to bowl sets up an outing to the bowling alley. He or she has a good time, but the other spouse, who is not a good bowler, hates every second of it! The couple gets discouraged because they can't seem to have fun together.

It's important not to start a competition. Or to have one partner teaching the other how to learn a new sport or skill. What happens is not play, but frustration . . . it's stressful and little fun.

Do Something You Both Like

A better choice is to select an activity that both partners will look forward to doing. The idea is to make it as much fun as possible for BOTH.

To make this easier, each partner can write a list of recreational and play activities that he/she really enjoys. Then the two can choose an activity that is on BOTH lists.

Tips

Also, it is wise to avoid heavy conversations or problem solving discussions when you begin the activity. Just go and have a good time. Forget about your problems and keep it as stress-free as possible.

Case Example

One of my couple clients decided they wanted to do something different. So they went to play video games at a popular game room - one mostly kids frequent. This was a new experience for them, as they had only played games at home.

Well, they played as hard as children and had the time of their lives.

Now they are hooked on playing arcade games together, and make time to go as often as possible. Be willing to learn from this successful couple and try new things!

You and your partner can get closer and have more fun together if you find more time for fun and games! The more responsibilities you have, the more stressful your life, the more you need to find time for play in your marriage or romantic relationship.

Remember: no serious talks and no competition . . . just throw yourselves into the activity and have fun enjoying each other's company. And laugh all you can.

Laughter is one of nature's greatest anti-depressants.

If you let go of your inhibitions and play like the child you used to be, your relationship will soar to new heights, your love will grow stronger and your sex life may sizzle like never before!